A Blessing Call for Health

I got sober, October 18th, 2004. Actually, it didn't happen in one day, of course. But on that day, I decided to step past an old way of being. I didn't know if I could, or even, if I really even wanted to get sober. I just knew I should. That same week, I began going to an acupuncturist, who helped me heal -- she tended to my depression -- my deep sadness and fear that made me want to drink. I would come there, sometimes twice a week, for nearly 2 years. Early on, in those first appointments, as tears flowed constantly from my eyes the minute I hit the table, I wrote this prayer in my mind. Each time I was there, it was the first place my mind went - to these words that became my life-line. It was surrender, really. And I am still, 5 years later, reciting this in my mind. Sober still, working hard to bless every day, and to bless every aspect of my health. This prayer settles me, allows me to surrender to what is most important. Gratitude.

Blessing Call for Health

Bless this body
Bless this mind
Bless this spirit
Bless this heart
Bless these muscles
Bless these bones
Bless these nerve endings,
encouraging flow
Bless this pain
I’ve carried for so many years
Bless these ever present,
Ever flowing tears
Bless the stuck places,
Releasing the fear
I am capable
I stand up
I let go
of all that is useless.

 mary tinucci 2005

Five Years Sober: Looking Back

It seems a nice thing to do for myself, to say "Congratulations" to myself for staying sober for 5 years. Tomorrow (Octber 18th) is my anniversary. Wow. What a great feeling to know I gave myself the gift of sobriety. It isn't always the easiest choice. There are days when I crave the disappearing act that alcohol provides me. There are days when I just plain miss the taste of a hearty dark beer, a guinness, or a rich dark red wine. Summer days, of course, I miss the famous gin and tonic. Who knows how many times in the last 5 years I have chosen, instead, to exercise, or have an ice tea with a lemon, or eat a dark truffle, or just cry. In those moments, I want relief, from sadness, from fear, from anger. I am reminded by those who are sober that these feelings will pass and that alcohol won't help. I go to yoga and find things that make me laugh. What never passes is the pride I feel for staying sober, the long-term relief of having made this choice. Congratulations to me, I say. Cheers.

Earth Shattering Events

Earth-shattering events are the ones
that mark time,
(or so they say).

What about the whispers we miss,
and spirits so subtle,
we don't even know why
we shivered?

~ Mary Tinucci, 2004



Tonight, in the early night sky, there was a beautiful sight. I saw two bright stars sitting just below a bright white crescent moon. It was unusual. It felt special, exciting to me. As I drove home from work, I kept my eye on this sight. When I got home, I grabbed my partner to come take a look. She, in turn, grabbed her camera and began trying to capture it in a digital form. In the meanwhile, I googled this, and found out just, indeed, how special a sight it was. The moon, paired with Jupiter and Venus, in this constellation, won't be visible again until 2052. wow. I will be 86 years old. I wonder if I'll be alive to see it again? Will I remember back to this night, remembering the details of my excitement, my drive home, Marilou outside with her Nikon camera and long zoom lens? Will this be an event to mark time in this life of mine?

My partner did capture the sight, but in fact, played with her camera settings as an experiment, and the photo above was the outcome. As brilliant in its' unique way as the view we held with the naked eye.

Too Weary to Rest

I suppose it is true, that
for some,
poetry holds no meaning.

They must be full
or asleep

for in this world
too many are hungry, always searching.

More, still,
too weary to rest.

~ Mary Tinucci (1-6-07)


Lately, I feel nearly too weary, so I count the days until vacation in a warm place. I have a quote in my daily planner (an old school calendar, of the pencil and paper sort -- the kind where one plasters stickers and quotes of inspiration in places one needs to read daily). In this emotionally hungry time, this tortured soul has searched for a hobby, something to remind me that the world is much bigger than my obsessions, my worries, my fears of failure. I have arrived at this blog, a place for quirky pictures of statues, paired with a poem and a brief commentary. Enjoy.