Day 49: Center

Center:  1. the middle, a point that is equally distant from the sides or outer boundaries 2. a point equidistant from all points on the circumference of a circle  3. A point around which something rotates or revolves:  4. A part of an object that is surrounded by the rest; a core:  5. a. A place where a particular activity or service is concentrated: b. A point of origin, as of influence, ideas, or actions: c. An area of dense population:  6. A person or thing that is the chief object of attention, interest, activity, or emotion. 7. A person, object, or group occupying a middle position. 8. A political group or a set of policies representing a moderate view between those of the right and the left. 

Finding the center....centering....these are both the words and phrases that came to mind as I was creating this mandala.  There are times, when I am out of balance, and I can't find the middle.  I can't find the center, of myself, or a particular view.  There are times when this middle ground, this center, seems so unclear to me, and even sometimes, impossible to grab hold. I'm stuck or sucked to the edge, out of balance, and often, afraid, anxious.  Sometimes, I spin around the edges, with worry, with excessive "to do" lists, with expectations of myself or others. 

There are other times, when it is so clear to me that I am standing solidly in the middle, the center.  That I, in fact, am solidly centered, clear, in balance.  I love those moments, when from this place, life has an ease about it.  Things flow smoothly, my heart calms its beat, rests easy in the pace and my place in this life. 

It is when I can come back to the middle, to my breath, to the center of what matters - the heart of the matter, that I feel free.  The things that matter like compassion, for myself, and for others. Things like generosity, even to a stranger.  Things like connection, to myself and to my partner.  Things like noticing the beauty in art and nature and new babies.  You make the list.  When push comes to shove, we all know what matters.  

I like that this mandala has an image in the center that looks heart-like to me.  It breathes from the top, and is rooted with the 2 dots (feet maybe?) at the bottom.  The blue radiates outward, and the red holds the middle, as if with 2 cupped hands.  

After work today, after a very busy mind and a day filled with many specific tasks worked on and ticked off the incessant list, I went for a long walk.   The weather is beautiful, and in and of itself, changes me.  I walked to St. Kates, a place that has been central and continues to be central to my life.  I walked the labyrinth (the old one) and admired the new one.  Walking the labyrinth is such a centering experience.  Walking inward, to the center. Thank you to the mandala-making process, for bringing me back to center.