Heart-beat: 1. a pulse: the rhythmic contraction and expansion of the arteries with each beat of the heart; 2. blink of an eye: a very short time; 3. an animating or vital unifying force.
As I created this mandala, the thunder outside roared its low rumbling rainstorm-rhythm. A perfect backdrop for this mandala. This mandala clearly emerged from my anticipation and excitement I feel about the Introduction to Hand Drumming workshop that I am going to later this afternoon. Again, the weather is a perfect mirror for this experience.
I have always wanted to learn to play the drums -- specifically, the sort of drums, often african drums, that you play with your hands. I know nothing about this except that, just like the experience and process of making mandalas calms me, so does the steady rhythm of the drum. I have had the chance a few times to beat the african drum with others. It is a powerful grounding force for me. I love the very last definition offered above in Heartbeat -- an animating or vital unifying force. For me, I believe that my life is about integrating all of the life experiences and various parts of myself, into one whole and authentic being, coming to a place of self-love and compassion. I think, too, my life is about finding such unifying and connected experiences in the various communities in my life, the community of friends I have and the chosen family I have created with my partner and our animals.
This journey is about honoring my authentic self, enough to share it with the world, instead of hiding with fear and self-doubt. I will use all of these tools and processes- -- the beating of the drum, the process of re-membering of my sometimes broken heart, the true connection I have with my people, the belief and trust that there is a place for me in the circle of this life, and the experience of coming-home, again and again, to my breath, to the heart beat, to the calming force of the mandala -- as ways to meet and welcome my true self.
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