Sunday, May 2, 2010

Day 32: Puzzle & Taking Hold



                                                   
Puzzle : 1. To baffle or confuse mentally by presenting a problem or being difficult 2. To clarify or solve something confusing by reasoning or study  3. To be perplexed 4. To ponder over a problem in an effort to solve or understand it 5. The condition of being perplexed; bewilderment.


Taking Hold: 1. To seize, to grasp 2. To understand, to establish, to commit. 

I sat down to make a mandala last night, but I ended up making two. Here they are. The first image reflects the puzzle of my emotions this past week. Sharp edges, intrusive thoughts.

The second, reflects my desire and commitment to move forward, to take hold, to proactively accept myself as I am.  This is the challenge, always, for me.  Self-compassion.  

I went to a workshop on Friday about self-care for social workers.  We got to experience various tools for self care, including: qi gong, song, loving kindness mediation, and a specific meditation called Tonglin.  

"Tonglin" practice is an amazingly simple example of how to practice letting go. It starts with basic human nature, the idea that we tend to draw toward us the things that we like, and push away from us the things that we don't like. We need to let go of both of those habits, detach completely from the idea that we can pull good things toward us and push bad things away. Tonglin practice begins with about 10 minutes of meditation to clear the mind of discursive thought, and then when you start, you breathe in anger and aggression and anxiety and stress, and then as you breathe out, you breathe out compassion and love to the world. So that you are consciously bringing into you the thing that you push away, and send out into the world the thing you would grasp and hold onto".  
                   ~Taken from:  http://www.whitecranejournal.com/wc01065.htm

I am appreciative today of the reminders and tools of these loving kindness and tonglin meditation practices.  Tools at my disposal, if I am willing to speak to myself in more compassionate ways. Onward. 

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