Day 1: Kaleidoscope

As this first mandala emerged on the blank page, the word Kaleidoscope came to mind.   Even while I fought the typical urges of self-criticism and judgement and the negative self-talk of "I can't", or "I'm not good at this",  "I'm not artistic", I still held a sense of playfulness.  I thought of the fun I had with kaleidoscopes as a child.  Such an intriguing view through the crystals in the toy.  It was always so interesting to see what happened to the view with just a slight twist of the tube.  As an adult, it is difficult for me to remember often enough that I can make a slight adjustment to my own view, and I will have a significant adjustment in my mood.

Kaleidoscope:... a tube of mirrors containing loose coloured beads, pebbles, or other small coloured objects. the viewer looks in one end and light enters the other end, reflecting off the mirrors. arbitrary patterns show up as symmetric patterns due to the reflections of the mirrors".


This is life, it seems to me, built of arbitrary patterns that we work constantly to put into symmetric and orderly patterns.  This is also how I experience mandala-making.  Playing with colors, and shapes and symmetry and patterns, to create something that holds new meaning and depth.

I love the idea of this new project for my steps into spring and summer.  A Mandala A Day can keep the blues away!  As I juggle the challenges of work, and as I try to keep my anxiety at bay, I feel an immediate sense of calm at the mere idea of this project.  As I sat down to do my first mandala, I felt calm and peaceful inside and quickly!  All other thoughts and worries of life dissipated, and I melted into the moment.  The notion of the Kaleidoscope came quickly, too.  I have been trying to find a symmetry with all of the various pieces and responsibilities of my life -- often, they are like the loose, bold-colored pieces, tumbling around randomly in my head, and in my heart, without order.  I have been searching for things that fill my heart, not with chaos, but with some symmetry.  The simple choice and act of mkaing a mandala today led to this awareness, this way of finding peace, this way of making sense and order out of worry, anxiety, and responsibilities that weigh on me. The mandala-making project, I found out in short order, can be my new poetry.  My new way of making sense of my life, of making meaning, of bringing depth to the dailiness of the loose pieces.  The mandala is my way to wholeness, symmetry, order, peace, meaning - it's a relief, again, to find such a tool in this creative process we call life.